Mr.Wonderful

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: North Bergen, NJ

Joined: 15 years ago on 02/23/04
Last Visit: 6 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

• You've viewed their Profile 3007 times

[current user isn't logged in]

Mr.Wonderful is currently piloting QUARTERBACK SUNSHINE with isami

QUARTERBACK SUNSHINE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Arm-Mounted Bomb Thrust
• Breast-Mounted Shield

DOSSIER: Role is is to attack Kaiju and supply helpful massages to basically anybody who asks. Certainly that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Erotic Asskicking when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of kittens in order to save its reputation. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to explode randomly, killing everybody inside, just when the pilots are starting to have fun. Everybody agrees: these pilots are heroic and live to kick some Kaiju limbs.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a good example of bio-engineering gone wrong. Father was a terrifying cyborg. Existence threw a fucking curveball when goldfish were eaten by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 5 that he discovered bathing. Each surpising moment was a step toward the sensitive touching that that his sense of honor demanded.

Was accepted to Harvard despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because of his burning passion to succeed. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with never-before-seen brutality, termed "Elegant Falcon Style", he soon gained the attention of nudists.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid thing that legends are made of despite "accidentally" killing a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided battle, pilot was immediately promoted to bat boy for the Mets by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot worse at saving the Earth if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.