Zeriath

Age: 32
Gender: M
Location: Etobicoke, ON

Joined: 12 years ago on 01/08/08
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Zeriath is currently piloting WILDEBEEST RACER with Silly_Kitsune

WILDEBEEST RACER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Arm-Mounted Whip
• Triple-Dropkick Festival of Happiness

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to pulverize Kaiju and supply helpful counseling services to other Jaegers. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unstoppable Magical, a plan to use a game-changing, ancient nuclear weapon to decisively end erectile dysfunction. Cannot be damaged by ice-based caresses. One thing is certain: these pilots are heroic and like nothing better than to smash some Kaiju heads.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of organic vegetables and beatings. Somewhat affected by the death of his hamster guys that really knew how to party, in his own way. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with controlling his emotions. It was at the age of 5 that he swore revenge. Gradually, he totally failed to unlock the secrets of mayhem. Each suprisingly filthy lesson was a step away from the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Schooled in some homeless guy's alleyway where he studied hand-to-hand combat, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the gassy outbursts of a seasoned expert with never-before-seen speed, termed "Invincible Falcon Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of pretty much everybody.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing crowd-pleaser despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of nerds. Classified intel indicates most of the city was saved and the rest was burned to the ground.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to becoming a sassy black woman and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot worse at embracing my love if he opened up his hearts. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.