Xtian

Age: 40
Gender: M
Location: Chicago, IL

Joined: 13 years ago on 01/09/08
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

View all public photos... (9 total)

• You've viewed their Profile 5265 times

[current user isn't logged in]

Xtian is currently piloting SLAYER BADASS with Luchadorable

SLAYER BADASS's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Mustache-Mounted Dildo
• Penis-Mounted Beam

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support other Jaegers by upgrading their offensive power. Impervious to expressing its feelings. Perhaps historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Unyielding Ragnarok, during which most of Topeka was destroyed in an effort to ...well, for no apparent reason, but it looked really cool. Everybody agrees: these pilots are erotic and like nothing better than to fingerbang some Kaiju heads.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with mongooses in the peaceful swamps of Tanzania. Life was transformed permanently when nipples were fellated by assassins. It was at the age of 19 that he had a sex change. Gradually, he totally failed to unlock the secrets of flower arranging. Each suprisingly filthy yeast infection was a step away from being less of an asshole that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Played first base for the Mets despite being completely blind because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a tiger with frankly unnecessary speed, termed "Elegant Tiger Style", he soon gained the attention of commanders.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful affair despite falling in love with a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

When the dust settled after the touching clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Chief Asskicker by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot better at embracing my love if he started touching himself a little more. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.