K-Devil

Age: 44
Gender: M
Location: Nashville, TN

Joined: 12 years ago on 01/29/08
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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K-Devil is currently piloting LUMBERJACK DEFIANCE with xoring

LUMBERJACK DEFIANCE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Penis-Mounted Black Hole Generator of Playfulness
• Triple-Bash Tantrum Assault

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply much-needed tax advice to soldiers, even during the heartbreak of full-force combat. Top-secret scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Defiant Unicorn, a plan to use an unbelievable, truly astonishing fried chicken recipe to prolong Obamacare. Impervious to alcohol. Certainly that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Erotic Asshole when the pilots sacrificed nearly all of the Earth's homeless drunks in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are erotic and have an unequaled ability to piss all over some Kaiju assholes.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by fairly normal parents in the affluent swamps of an average American small town. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 6 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Eventually, he learned the art of martial arts. Each surpising moment was a step toward the triumph that his parents expected from him.

Slept with a village of hobos despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because he was the one foretold by the prophecy.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful triumph despite killing basically everybody. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju with unmatched power and ferocity.

In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided clusterfuck, pilot was angrily promoted to Head Badass by some motherfucker with a bunch of medals on his chest.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot better at piloting giant robots if he hugged a puppy once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.