Nitric

Age: 39
Gender: M
Location: Mukwonago, WI

Joined: 11 years ago on 01/30/08
Last Visit: 7 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Nitric is currently piloting VOLCANO VALKYRIE with dreamergurl

VOLCANO VALKYRIE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Thousand-Dropkick Attack Attack of Blood
• Luck Kick

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply suicidally-insane massages to civilians, even during the frenzy of desperate lovemaking. Perhaps that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Flagrant Panty Raid when the pilots sacrificed nearly all of the Earth's innocent bystanders in order to save money on car insurance. One thing is certain: these pilots are erotic and nobody questions their dedication to ability to chug a six-pack.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of daily swordfighting lessons and tough love. Profoundly aroused by the conversion to Islam of his hamster at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed much promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with chapped nipples. It was at the age of 19 that he reached puberty. Spent the next several seconds battling for his life in a hidden toy store. Each suprisingly filthy beat-down was a step closer to the bloody satisfaction that his heart yearned for.

Unlocked his inner unicorn in a secret Buddhist temple where he studied forbidden knowledge, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing thing that legends are made of despite "accidentally" killing his best friend. According to survivors, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty happy about it.

Following the grueling battle, pilot was angrily promoted to bat boy for the Mets by his commanding officer.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot worse at piloting giant robots if he stopped being an asshole. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is gonna run this whole goddamn army someday.