spinkle

Age: 45
Gender: M
Location: Havertown, PA

Joined: 13 years ago on 02/02/08
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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spinkle is currently piloting BEEFCAKE BEEFCAKE with SwingBlade

BEEFCAKE BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Mustache-Mounted Hockey Stick of Orgasmic Bliss
• Ear-Mounted Mallet

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply helpful repair services to friendly forces, even during the heartbreak of night-time battles. May be vulnerable to melancholy. We can safely say historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Stalwart Hercules, during which most of Texas was destroyed in an effort to relieve boredom. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are smoking hot and live to break some Kaiju emotions.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a loving parent. Father was an arms dealer. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 23 that he discovered bathing. Gradually, he mastered the art of sexually transmitted diseases. Each grueling moment was a step closer to the triumph that that his sense of honor demanded.

Played first base for the Mets despite being addicted to blowjobs because he was the one foretold by the prophecy.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up affair despite infuriating his best friend. Classified intel indicates most of the city was destroyed and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Following the grueling battle, pilot was angrily promoted to bat boy for the Mets by by popular demand.

Haters have described his robot piloting style as "second-rate ass-grabbing", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "the kind of thing you jack off to" and "some of the toughest Jaeger piloting since Bruce Lee sexually dominated my ass."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.