Sijo

Age: 34
Gender: F
Location: Baltimore, MD

Joined: 14 years ago on 02/27/04
Last Visit: 10 months ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Sijo is currently piloting RACER BLOOMER with Chocolate Thunder

RACER BLOOMER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Sexuality Blast Assault of Revenge
• Breast-Mounted Gauntlet

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply ferocious blowjobs to other Jaegers, even during the frenzy of night-time lovemaking. Certainly historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Defiant Derelict, during which most of Mexico was destroyed in an effort to relieve boredom. Often, homeless men have been awestruck by the pilots' oral hygiene. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may perform like a real pussy just when the pilots are starting to have fun. One thing is certain: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to asskicking.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of popcorn and intellectual stimulation. Profoundly aroused by the cyborg conversion of father while masturbating. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 5 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Soon, she totally failed to unlock the art of Hokuto Shinken. Each withering moment was a step toward becoming a true sexual being, and was all that her parents expected from her.

Schooled by the school of life where she studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that she was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a rousing crowd-pleaser despite falling in love with her mother. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

Refusing to learn a lesson, she dedicated herself to becoming even more of a badass and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

So-called experts have described her Jaeger tactics style as "weak-ass dick-slapping", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "seriously cool" and "some of the toughest mayhem since Gen. George Patton invaded my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.