Mark Argent

Age: 42
Gender: M
Location: Bethesda, MD

Joined: 16 years ago on 02/27/04
Last Visit: 6 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Mark Argent is currently piloting INTOXICATED HUNK with Princess Shoujo Maiku

INTOXICATED HUNK's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Despair Haymaker
• Gassy Bodycheck

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply helpful tax advice to soldiers, even during the heartbreak of high-speed brawls. We can safely say that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Secret Asskicking when the pilots sacrificed nearly all of the Earth's homeless drunks in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. Everybody agrees: these pilots are smoking hot and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to partying.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of encouragement and religion. Life didn't really change much when parents were kidnapped by assassins. It was at the age of 6 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Decided to spend the next several years battling for his life in a secret robot repair shop. Each sexual lesson was a step toward the sensitive touching that his parents expected from him.

Educated by the school of life where he studied economics, where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent thing that legends are made of despite annoying the shit out of everybody in the Western Hemisphere. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to curing AIDS and has been making some pretty good progress.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot better at fucking up some fucking Kaiju if he started touching himself a little more. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.