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Nikki Arcade

Buster Machine No. 1509
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About Nikki Arcade

Age: 37
Gender: F
Location: Nowhere, OK

Joined: 17 years ago on 02/27/04
Last Visit: 11 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Jaeger Assignment

Nikki Arcade is currently piloting RAMBUNCTIOUS BLOOMER with Remember Lommy Greenhands

RAMBUNCTIOUS BLOOMER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Hornet's Frying Pan
  • Retribution Tackle Whirlwind

DOSSIER: Likes to help basically anybody who asks by fortifying their defensive capabilities. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Defiant Freedom, a plan to use a game-changing, ancient boner pill to prolong this war for human survival. Cannot be damaged by sensitive enemy attacks. During the Battle Of Chicago, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to protect their friends while simultaneously displaying outstanding choice of personal grooming habits. At times, homeless men have complimented the pilots' intensity. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they smash the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by wolves in the peaceful foothills of Tanzania. Somewhat affected by the Kaiju murder of her hamster at the age of three. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with getting thrown out of pet stores because of inappropriate touching. It was at the age of 5 that she stopped being a huge pussy. Decided to spend the next several seconds battling for her life in a filthy temple. Each suprisingly filthy lesson was a step away from the bloody satisfaction that her parents expected from her.

Found herself at Sweet Valley High where she studied her own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that she was a true genius.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent triumph despite "accidentally" killing Whoopi Goldberg. Due to her actions, most of the city was saved and the rest was full of ungrateful assholes.

Deciding to get a clue, she re-dedicated herself to essentially being a huge pussy and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"The thing is," says her best friend, "She'd be a lot better at shit in general if she took my dick out of her mouth once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.

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