Ulyth

Age: 30
Gender: M
Location: Canton, GA

Joined: 9 years ago on 02/13/08
Last Visit: 7 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 446 days from now

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Ulyth is currently piloting PUNCHER JUGGERNAUT with TheLoneWolf

PUNCHER JUGGERNAUT's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Torrential Boomerang
• Majestic Flamethrower Tantrum

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply ferocious tax advice to civilians, even during the frenzy of covert combat. As we all know historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Final Hercules, during which most of Atlanta was destroyed in an effort to capture a living Kaiju. Often, the pilots' parents have wished that the pilots would improve their alcohol tolerance. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they eradicate the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Abusive family provided a strict diet of daily swordfighting lessons and comic books. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 19 that he discovered bathing. Reluctantly spent the next several hours sleeping in a secret waterfall. Each enchanting lesson was a step toward the kind of shit that that his sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite excessive body odor because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?. With a fighting style that combined the speed of a seasoned expert with erotic power, termed "Ferocious Monkey Style", he soon gained the praise of instructors.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent thing that legends are made of despite "accidentally" killing Whoopi Goldberg. According to survivors, most of the town was saved and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

In the aftermath of the touching clusterfuck, pilot was immediately promoted to Head Badass by his commanding officer.

"People need to understand, you can read the textbooks all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there partying, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the life or death situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. And trust me, this is one soldier who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.