xxxholic

Age: 33
Gender: F
Location: Manalapan, NJ

Joined: 7 years ago on 02/14/08
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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xxxholic is currently piloting FLAMING ERECTION with danmakudub

FLAMING ERECTION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Pulsating Kick
• Lusty Blaster Assault of Revenge

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to confuse Kaiju and supply suicidally-insane tax advice to soldiers. May be vulnerable to bad advice. In the past, the pilots' parents have heaped praise upon the pilots' lovemaking abilities. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they take a huge shit on the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Parented by robots in the peaceful foothills of Transylvania. Existence was transformed permanently when imaginary friends were kidnapped by ninjas. It was at the age of 23 that she discovered bathing. Reluctantly spent the next several seconds trying to get laid in a secret robot repair shop. Each enchanting beat-down was a step away from the bloody satisfaction that her heart yearned for.

Played first base for the Mets despite being addicted to blowjobs because of her burning passion to succeed.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked failure despite "accidentally" killing her mother. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju with extremely low self-esteem.

When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to General by pretty much the only other person that was still alive.

"People need to understand, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and you have an unexpected orgasm you better forget everything you learned and react to the crazy situation right in front of you. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Trust me, this is one pilot who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.