cleversmartass

Age: 33
Gender: F
Location: North Pole, AK

Joined: 13 years ago on 02/27/04
Last Visit: 9 months ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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cleversmartass is currently piloting LION DYNAMITE with Tiara

LION DYNAMITE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Flaming Foot Bodycheck
• Shoulder-Mounted Battle-Axe Thrust

DOSSIER: Job is to support civilians by augmenting their defensive capabilities. During the Battle Of Antarctica, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to fuck shit up while simultaneously displaying outstanding oral hygiene. Everybody agrees: these pilots are drunken and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to asskicking.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a migrant worker. Father was prone to fits of melancholy. Not all that aroused by the painful goiter loss of her hamster because it was her idea in the first place. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with getting thrown out of pet stores because of inappropriate touching. It was at the age of 6 that she swore revenge. Each grueling lesson was a step toward being less of an asshole that that her sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite a painful recurring prolapse because sometimes life is crazy like that.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful affair despite infuriating her mother. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, she re-dedicated herself to essentially being a huge pussy and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"People need to understand, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there with a dick in your ass, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you learned and react to the new situation at hand. If you don't, you're fucked. Trust me, this is one soldier who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.