Archangel

Age: 43
Gender: M
Location: Freehold, NJ

Joined: 15 years ago on 02/28/04
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Archangel is currently piloting QUARTERBACK ROCKET with Alexeil

QUARTERBACK ROCKET's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Thousand-Blast Attack Festival
• Womb-Mounted Soup Ladle

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support friendly forces by fortifying their long-range detection power. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Stalwart Derelict, a plan to use a fucked-up, secret violent sexual onslaught to ensure psoraisis. Impervious to emotions. We can safely say historians will eventually celebrate the pilots for their role in Operation Heroic Unicorn, during which most of Atlanta was destroyed in an effort to capture a living Kaiju. Often, spiritual advisors have expressed concern over the pilots' general cleanliness. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they fingerbang the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of organic vegetables and beatings. Existence was transformed permanently when imaginary friends were eaten by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Each surpising beat-down was a step away from the ultimate revenge that that his sense of honor demanded.

Slept with a village of hobos despite being completely blind because he was the one foretold by the prophecy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked affair despite falling in love with his best friend. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to potato peeler, first class by the President of what remained of the world.

Jealous people have described his combat aptitude style as "embarrassing weaksauce", while others have described it as "completely dope" and "some of the toughest Jaeger piloting since Arnold Schwartzeneggar invaded a bus-load of orphaned babies."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.