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Buster Machine No. 1563
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About TSK

Age: 39
Gender: M
Location: Norfolk, VA

Joined: 17 years ago on 02/28/04
Last Visit: 11 years ago
Status: Airlocked
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Jaeger Assignment

TSK is currently piloting LIBERTY WOMBAT with Matthew

LIBERTY WOMBAT's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Hummingbird's Machine Gun Storm
  • Elongated Stomp Seizure

DOSSIER: Role is to perform sporadic offense designed to confuse the Kaiju by pulverizing their friends. During the Battle Of Texas, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to yell like a motherfucker while simultaneously displaying outstanding masturbation habits. Everybody agrees: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and have an unequaled ability to fingerbang some Kaiju feelings.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by monks in the affluent swamps of New York. Life was transformed permanently when imaginary friends were killed by an evil warlord. It was at the age of 5 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. As time progressed, he learned the art of oral hygeine. Each sexual lesson was a step closer to the triumph that his heart yearned for.

Found himself at Oxford where he studied his own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a drunken sailor with sensual passion, termed "Ferocious Monkey Style", he soon gained the admiration of instructors.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane affair despite falling in love with basically everybody. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with an unexplained fondness for show tunes.

When the dust settled after the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to bat boy for the Mets by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.

So-called experts have described his partying style as "amateur weaksauce", while others have described it as "devastatingly effective" and "some of the best Jaeger piloting since my dad destroyed my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.

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