evilrob

Age: 47
Gender: M
Location: Norfolk, VA

Joined: 17 years ago on 03/01/04
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

View all public photos... (5 total)

• You've viewed their Profile 3874 times

[current user isn't logged in]

evilrob is currently piloting PIONEER LION with yunie_ffx2

PIONEER LION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Aggressive Battle-Axe Orgy
• Womb-Mounted Punch

DOSSIER: Primary role is supporting friendly forces by improving their offensive capabilities. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Erotic Magical, a plan to use an experimental, secret atomic missile to ensure struggle against Kaiju. As we all know that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Hogwarts when the pilots sacrificed several thousand schoolchildren in order to save some dude's record collection. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will perform like a real pussy pretty much any time you even look at it. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to general cleanliness.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of encouragement and gin. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 23 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Each sexual lesson was a step toward being less of an asshole that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Unlocked his inner unicorn at Sweet Valley High where he studied his own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid crowd-pleaser despite annoying the shit out of nearly anybody that gave a shit. Classified intel indicates most of the city was saved and the rest was incinerated.

In the aftermath of the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to General by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot worse at everything if he opened up his hearts. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.