Ronnie

Age: 31
Gender: M
Location: Halethorpe, MD

Joined: 10 years ago on 03/01/04
Last Visit: 6 hours ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Ronnie is currently piloting SCAMPERING BEEFCAKE with (s)Aint Chimo

SCAMPERING BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Audacious Staff
• Fist-Mounted Scissor

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply tricky tax advice to friendly forces, even during the mayhem of sexual skirmishes. As we all know historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Erotic Freedom, during which most of Baltimore was destroyed in an effort to blow off some steam. One thing is certain: these pilots are terrifying and have an unequaled ability to kick some Kaiju feelings.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and intellectual stimulation. Not really affected by the cyborg conversion of grandmother while masturbating. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Gradually, he mastered the art of drinking. Each erotic beat-down was a step away from the sensitive touching that his heart yearned for.

Unlocked his inner unicorn in a den of thieves where he studied martial arts, where it soon became apparent that absolutely nobody was ever going to give a shit about him.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent success despite infuriating a bunch of innocent bystanders. Classified intel indicates most of the city was saved and the rest was incinerated.

When the dust settled after the touching clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Head Badass by by popular demand.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot worse at saving the Earth if he hugged a puppy once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is gonna run this whole goddamn army someday.