Flip

Age: 27
Gender: M
Location: Alma, GA

Joined: 9 years ago on 03/01/04
Last Visit: 20 months ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Flip is currently piloting CHEETAH KRAKEN with AngelMeatPie

CHEETAH KRAKEN's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Retribution Punch
• Shark's Chainsaw of Orgasmic Bliss

DOSSIER: Role is is to supply ferocious blowjobs to friendly forces, even during the melancholy of undercover lovemaking. May be vulnerable to alcohol. As we all know that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Unyielding Sword when the pilots sacrificed several hundred homeless drunks in order to save money on car insurance. Frequently, the pilots' parents have been awestruck by the pilots' oral hygiene. The only question facing these pilots, who are simmering with sexual tension, is this: can they piss all over the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of encouragement and tough love. Life threw a fucking curveball when nipples were killed by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 6 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Each joyful fuck-up was a step closer to the true mastery of self-control that his parents expected from him.

Truly blossomed in a secret Buddhist temple where he studied astrophysics, where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the speed of a tiger with unbeatable speed, termed "Elegant Monkey Style", he soon gained the attention of some homeless guy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a rousing affair despite "accidentally" killing basically everybody. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

When the dust settled after the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Head Badass by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.

"Listen up, rookie, you can study the training videos all day long," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there with a dick in your ass, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything he taught you and react to the crazy situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Trust me, this is one soldier who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.