SpeedBrkr

Age: 38
Gender: M
Location: Wilmette, IL

Joined: 12 years ago on 05/17/08
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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SpeedBrkr is currently piloting VIOLENCE FACEPUNCHER with diavana

VIOLENCE FACEPUNCHER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Satisfaction Kick
• Overly-Elaborate Boomerang Eruption of Retribution

DOSSIER: Primary role is supporting civilians by augmenting their offensive capabilities. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Flagrant Sword, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient doomsday device to decisively end the designated hitter rule. May be vulnerable to melancholy. Perhaps that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Highway Storm when the pilots sacrificed several hundred cancer patients in order to save some dude's record collection. In the past, other Jaeger pilots have envied the pilots' ability to chug a six-pack. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are smoking hot and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to asskicking.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of daily swordfighting lessons and gin. At an early age, showed much promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with basically everything else. It was at the age of 6 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Decided to spend the next several seconds fighting for survival in a filthy alley. Each withering yeast infection was a step away from the triumph that his heart yearned for.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because sometimes life is crazy like that.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up crowd-pleaser despite impregnating his best friend. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot worse at not completely getting the shit kicked out of him if he opened up his hearts. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.