lil neko

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Worcester, MA

Joined: 16 years ago on 03/01/04
Last Visit: 9 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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lil neko is currently piloting AUDACIOUS VIOLENCE with Captain Fancy Pants

AUDACIOUS VIOLENCE's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Nipple-Mounted Whip
• Panda's Missiles

DOSSIER: Job is to support civilians by multiplying their sexual capabilities. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Stalwart Ragnarok, a plan to use a fucked-up, secret nuclear weapon to prolong the designated hitter rule. May be vulnerable to bad advice. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they take a huge shit on the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by loving parents in the peaceful foothills of Dayton. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 5 that she reached puberty. As time progressed, she learned the techniques of mayhem. Each erotic fuck-up was a step toward the ultimate revenge that her heart yearned for.

Found herself on the streets where she studied whatever the fuck she felt like studying, where it soon became apparent that she was the type of person that never gets invited to parties.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful affair despite infuriating her mother. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju with extremely low self-esteem.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, she re-dedicated herself to drinking a lot and is basically doing alright.

"Listen up, rookie, you can read the textbooks all day long," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you think you know and react to the life or death situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, you're fucked. Believe me, this is one soldier who totally gets that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is gonna run this whole goddamn army someday.