Gnarly Sheen

Age: 32
Gender: M
Location: Fort Bragg, NC

Joined: 9 years ago on 05/22/08
Last Visit: 17 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 113 days from now

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Gnarly Sheen is currently piloting QUIVERING STALLION with SunKun

QUIVERING STALLION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Headstrong Baseball Bat Assault
• Bumblebee's Frying Pan Armageddeon

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support friendly forces by multiplying their sensual capabilities. May be vulnerable to party drugs. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will really bum you out pretty much any time you even look at it. Everybody agrees: these pilots are heroic and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with wolves in the dangerous foothills of Madagascar. Life threw a fucking curveball when nipples were seduced by his little brother. It was at the age of 5 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Spent the next several seconds fighting for survival in a seriously shady abandoned rest stop. Each enchanting fuck-up was a step away from the triumph that that his sense of honor demanded.

Truly blossomed by the school of life where he studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with erotic power, termed "Ferocious Falcon Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of pretentious assholes everywhere.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked success despite falling in love with his copilot. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

Deciding to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he dedicated himself to attempting to pilot his Jaeger sober and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

"Son, you, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all you want," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there with a dick in your ass, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything he taught you and adapt to the fucked-up situation right in front of you. If you don't, basically everybody is going to die. Trust me, this is one crazy asshole who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.