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Spork

Buster Machine No. 1685
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About Spork

Age: 36
Gender: M
Location: Jamaica Plain, MA

Joined: 14 years ago on 03/01/04
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Contact InformationContact information, such as a Member's e-mail and instant messenger information, can only be viewed by other Members! If you're already a Member, use the login form on the left side of the screen, or click here to log in. If you're not a Member yet, why not join us and be a part of the fun?
Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 3322 times
Would You Hit It? Would Spork?

[current user isn't logged in]

Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Hi, I'm Spork I haven't updated this profile in ages.”

Current Relationship Status

“Seeing some people, not tied down.”

What do you do for fun?

“Read, surf the web, watch movies, travel, photography, etc”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I take apart expensive electronics for a living. Seriously.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“i can't write interesting things about myself, and that is funny because it's true D:”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Cool, easy to talk to and funny. Since you're on this site, I guess you like games and animu.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“oh god how did these animes get here, im not very good with japan”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I don't know anymore! ;_;”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“acen? ausa? otakon? ”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Favorites: Civilization, Red Orchestra, BF2, TF2”

Steam Nickname

“spork@sporks.net”

Jaeger Assignment

Spork is currently piloting ROBUST HUNK with GamerGirlX

ROBUST HUNK's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Double-Stomp Raid
  • Stalwart Foot Dropkick Eruption

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply suicidally-insane repair services to basically anybody who asks, even during the mayhem of covert lovemaking. Impervious to harsh criticism. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to asskicking.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of encouragement and intellectual stimulation. Not all that affected by the murder of father guys that really knew how to party, in his own way. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 6 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. Decided to spend the next several years fucking people up in a hidden field. Each grueling yeast infection was a step toward the kind of shit that his heart yearned for.

Truly blossomed at Yale where he studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent failure despite infuriating his mother. Due to his actions, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

When the dust settled after the heroic but sort of misguided battle, pilot was angrily promoted to the newly-created title of Lord Not-To-Be-Fucked-With by his commanding officer.

Jealous people have described his robot piloting style as "amateur dick-slapping", while others have described it as "basically his new religion" and "some of the best mayhem since Gen. George Patton ravaged my ass."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.

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