Izeekial

Age: 40
Gender: M
Location: Olympia, WA

Joined: 12 years ago on 06/21/08
Last Visit: 8 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Izeekial is currently piloting SWEATY PUNCHER with nekoattak

SWEATY PUNCHER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Violent Cannon
• Judgement Headbutt

DOSSIER: Role is to unleash overwhelming offense intended to insult the Kaiju by murdering their brains. Top-secret whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Ragnarok, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient fried chicken recipe to hopefully end this war for human survival. Perhaps that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Final Rimjob when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of cancer patients in order to save this one guy nobody even likes. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they break the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was prone to fits of melancholy. Not really affected by the cyborg conversion of his hamster at the age of three. At an early age, showed much promise for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with chapped nipples. It was at the age of 23 that he reached puberty. As time progressed, he learned the techniques of mayhem. Each grueling lesson was a step toward being less of an asshole that that his sense of honor demanded.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing failure despite killing his copilot. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

Following the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to Head Badass by pretty much the only other person that was still alive.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot worse at something other than this if he hugged a puppy once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.