ThePirate

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Halifax, NS

Joined: 16 years ago on 03/01/04
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

• You've viewed their Profile 10329 times

[current user isn't logged in]

ThePirate is currently piloting RESOURCEFUL CHEETAH with Yosei_Otaku

RESOURCEFUL CHEETAH's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Butt-Mounted Laser
• Venomous Hammer of Satisfaction

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply courageous blowjobs to other Jaeger pilots, even during the frenzy of undercover combat. Impervious to melancholy. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will explode randomly, killing everybody inside, if either pilot is Mexican, which is really racist if you think about it. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are admirable and have one purpose, which is to destroy some Kaiju children.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of encouragement and comic books. Profoundly affected by the painful goiter loss of some shitty cat at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole. It was at the age of 6 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Gradually, he learned the techniques of mayhem. Each enchanting yeast infection was a step away from the triumph that that his sense of honor demanded.

Actually managed to finally make make a friend despite being completely blind because of his immense determination.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent crowd-pleaser despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, he re-dedicated himself to partying like a true hero and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"The thing is," says a homeless guy we spoke to, "He'd be a lot better at saving the Earth if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.