ildiko

Age: 34
Gender: F
Location: Oceanside, CA

Joined: 17 years ago on 03/02/04
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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ildiko is currently piloting THUNDER MEATBALL with Serial Experiments Lou

THUNDER MEATBALL's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Mustache-Mounted Dagger
• Happiness Pound Eruption of Satisfaction

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to upset Kaiju and supply courageous repair services to other Jaegers. Cannot be damaged by violent enemies. During the Battle Of Antarctica, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to maintain an emotionless expression while simultaneously displaying outstanding dedication to asskicking. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to perform like a real pussy every so often. One thing is certain: these pilots are heroic and like nothing better than to smash some Kaiju children.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with wolves in the affluent suburbs of Transylvania. Existence was transformed permanently when friends were eaten by her little brother. It was at the age of 19 that she stopped being a huge pussy. Soon, she totally failed to unlock the art of sexually transmitted diseases. Each withering beat-down was a step away from the bloody satisfaction that her heart yearned for.

Unlocked her inner unicorn at Oxford where she studied economics, where it soon became apparent that she was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked success despite "accidentally" killing Whoopi Goldberg. According to survivors, most of the city was saved and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

When the dust settled after the touching battle, pilot was immediately promoted to General by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.

Haters have described her robot piloting style as "weak-ass ass-grabbing", while mostly everybody else has described it as "devastatingly effective" and "some of the most heroic stuff since Bruce Lee sexually dominated nipples everywhere."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.