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Darth Gnosis

Buster Machine No. 17200
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About Darth Gnosis

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Depew, NY

Joined: 12 years ago on 07/11/08
Last Visit: 12 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Howdy. My name's Dave, and I'm a geek. I love to read, listen to rock music, and play games of all shapes and sizes. I'm a big Star Wars nut, to the point where I've gotten into heated arguments about it.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“I love rock music (classic AND new), reading and writing fantasy and sci-fi, comic books, and I'm currently learning the guitar. Oh, and sleeping. Sleeping is good.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I work at a factory that makes protein powder.”

What's your dream job?

“Keeper of the Holocron at Lucas Licensing.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I can do a flawless re-enactment of the "Chicken Wings" scene in "Tommy Boy."”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I like a person with a good sense of humor, who isn't afraid to go against the grain and stand up for what they believe in.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“If the people in it are dedicated to making it work, it'll work.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Dragonball(Z) (manga), Trigun (animé), Naruto (manga), Bleach, Death Note (manga), Outlaw Star, Yu Yu Hakusho (animé), Bludgeoning Angel Dokuro-chan, Samurai Champloo, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Gundam (all).”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Rock (too many to list), Metal (Iced Earth, Iron Maiden, Ozzy, Sabbath, Dio, Black Label Society, etc.), Punk (too many to list), Blues (Clapton, Robert Johnson, The Allman Brothers Band, etc.). I'm also into chiptunes and VG music.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I like watching SOME animé; I've found that manga is, more often than not, the better way to go. As far as games go, I love the 360, Wii, and pretty much any table-top game you put in front of me.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?


Into games? List your favorites!

“Guitar Hero (series), Halo (series), Zelda (series), Mass Effect (series), Rock Band (series), Devil May Cry (series), D&D (4th ed. is teh shit), Munchkin, Lunch Money, Settlers of Catan, the list goes on...”

XBox Live! Gamertag

“Darth Gnosis”

Jaeger Assignment

Darth Gnosis is currently piloting SPICY BEEFCAKE with Johnny Landmine

SPICY BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Mustache-Mounted Beam Overload
  • Thousand-Kick Tantrum

DOSSIER: Likes to help soldiers by augmenting their weapons capabilities. Perhaps that one of its most controversial moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Hogwarts when the pilots sacrificed several hundred cancer patients in order to save the oldest remaining public library in Topeka. Everybody agrees: these pilots are admirable and have one purpose, which is to piss all over some Kaiju friends.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with robots in the idyllic slums of Pittsburgh. Existence was transformed permanently when parents were fellated by an evil warlord. It was at the age of 23 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Each sexual day was a step away from the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Educated at Sweet Valley High where he studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that he was literally drunk the entire time, twenty-four hours a day. With a fighting style that combined the lewdness of a tiger with unbeatable sensuality, termed "Elegant Armadillo Style", he soon gained the attention of instructors.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a splendid failure despite "accidentally" killing his copilot. Due to his actions, most of the town was saved and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he re-dedicated himself to shaving his pubes and is basically doing alright.

So-called experts have described his Jaeger tactics style as "embarrassing ass-grabbing", while mostly everybody else has described it as "seriously cool" and "some of the coolest stuff since my dad sexually dominated your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.

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