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Buster Machine No. 17226
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About Kaliope

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Long Valley, NJ

Joined: 12 years ago on 07/14/08
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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  • You've viewed their Profile 4978 times
Would You Hit It? Would Kaliope?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“BOOM HEADSHOT. I like to make things blow up in video games. ”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I work as a hairstylist aka a cheap therapist and I go to school to study life.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I am the proud co-owner of a stuffed armadillo holding a beer can. I dunno why, but it's AWESOME. ”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“New people! As long as they aren't stalker-crazy. Or furries. Fuck them.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“They're difficult and I don't like them.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Basically everything.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Whichever ones I have the ability to get to.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Mass Effect, Dragon Age, League of Legends, WoW, Zelda, Mario Kart, Smash Bros, Warcraft”

Other Online Gaming Info

“WoW - Hydraxis server”

Jaeger Assignment

Kaliope is currently piloting BURLY DANGER with Datadep5

BURLY DANGER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Head-Mounted Cudgel
  • Adorable Battle-Axe

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to upset Kaiju and supply ferocious counseling services to civilians. Top-secret scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Hogwarts, a plan to use a fucked-up, ancient doomsday device to prolong psoraisis. During the Battle Of Texas, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to look really cool while simultaneously displaying outstanding intensity. One thing is certain: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and have an unequaled ability to explode some Kaiju faces.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of lima beans and beatings. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 5 that she stopped being a huge pussy. Decided to spend the next several seconds sleeping in a secret waterfall. Each erotic lesson was a step toward the triumph that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because of her burning passion to succeed. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of a bull with frankly unnecessary power, termed "Invincible Armadillo Style", she soon gained the attention of instructors.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane affair despite killing basically everybody. Due to her actions, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, she dedicated herself to square dancing and has been making some pretty good progress.

"People need to understand, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there trying to save the Earth, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you learned and adapt to the new situation right in front of you. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. And trust me, this is one pilot who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.

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