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Deadm0nk

Buster Machine No. 17437
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About Deadm0nk

Age: 39
Gender: M
Location: Calgary, AB

Joined: 11 years ago on 07/25/08
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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  • You've viewed their Profile 3346 times
Would You Hit It? Would Deadm0nk?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

Deadm0nk is currently piloting VORTEX BASTARD with madilicious

VORTEX BASTARD's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Inflamed Caress of Vengeance
  • Satisfaction Headbutt

DOSSIER: Job is to unleash lightning-like offense intended to annihilate the Kaiju by murdering their assholes. During the Battle Of Yankee Stadium, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to party while simultaneously displaying outstanding sexual health. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are erotic and have one purpose, which is to smash some Kaiju limbs.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of old martial arts movies and tough love. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 5 that he swore revenge. Gradually, he mastered the art of sexually transmitted diseases. Each joyful day was a step toward the ultimate revenge that that his sense of honor demanded.

Schooled at Oxford where he studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that he was the type of person that never gets invited to parties. With a fighting style that combined the tendency toward inappropriate touching of a tiger with frankly unnecessary sensuality, termed "Invincible Monkey Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of perverts all over the world.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane failure despite annoying the shit out of basically everybody. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat.

In the aftermath of the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to General by God himself.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot better at everything if he opened up his hearts. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.

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