JessicaDru

Age: 38
Gender: F
Location: Newport Beach, CA

Joined: 12 years ago on 07/28/08
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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JessicaDru is currently piloting SERAPHIM DRAGON with Liscum

SERAPHIM DRAGON's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Twitterpated Nipple Bodyslam
• Double-Choke-Hold Formation Volley

DOSSIER: Job is to unleash lightning-like offense intended to upset the Kaiju by pulverizing their assholes. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Magical Sword, a plan to use a game-changing, secret aggressive handjob technique to hopefully end erectile dysfunction. One thing is certain: these pilots are heroic and like nothing better than to smash some Kaiju reproductive organs.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of lima beans and comic books. Existence was transformed permanently when parents were seduced by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 5 that she had a sex change. Decided to spend the next several seconds fighting for survival in a filthy toy store. Each grueling beat-down was a step toward the bloody satisfaction that her heart yearned for.

Became high school valedictorian despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because she was the one foretold by the prophecy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, her debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent thing that legends are made of despite falling in love with a bunch of innocent bystanders. Thanks to her efforts, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty fucked-up to begin with so who cares really.

When the dust settled after the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to Corporal by that guy nobody really talked to but apparently had the power to promote people, so whatever.

Haters have described her Jaeger tactics style as "embarrassing dick-slapping", while people who actually know what she's talking about have described it as "the kind of thing legends are made of" and "some of the best stuff since Godzilla invaded your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.