Mrs. Mink

Age: 35
Gender: F
Location: Arroyo Grande, CA

Joined: 16 years ago on 03/02/04
Last Visit: 3 years ago
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Mrs. Mink is currently piloting JUGGERNAUT ERECTION with Kanchi

JUGGERNAUT ERECTION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Unfettered Machete Attack
• Overwhelming Nippletwister Volley

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to embarrass Kaiju and supply suicidally-insane tax advice to soldiers. Cannot be damaged by violent Kaiju. During the Battle Of Citizen's Bank Park, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to look really cool while simultaneously displaying outstanding intensity. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they explode the Kaiju without slaughtering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Basically kind of hung out with mongooses in the affluent swamps of an average American small town. Somewhat affected by the death of grandmother at the age of three. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 6 that she stopped being a huge pussy. As time progressed, she totally failed to unlock the art of mayhem. Each sexual fuck-up was a step away from the true mastery of self-control that that her sense of honor demanded.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?. With a fighting style that combined the gassy outbursts of a drunken sailor with sizzling passion, termed "Ferocious Armadillo Style", she soon gained the sensitive touchings of pretentious assholes everywhere.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up failure despite "accidentally" killing her best friend. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju a code name of "Ass Chuckle" which meant nobody really took it seriously, despite the fact that it was actually pretty tough.

When the dust settled after the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to General by by popular demand.

"You, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and you have a dick in your mouth you better forget everything you learned and react to the life or death situation at hand. If you don't, everybody's going to think you're a pussy. Believe me, this is one pilot who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.