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Dr. Moustache

Buster Machine No. 18224
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About Dr. Moustache

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Decatur, GA

Joined: 5 years ago on 09/28/08
Last Visit: 18 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Would You Hit It? Would Dr. Moustache?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I'm Dr. Moustache! Contrary to what you may think, I am primarily concerned with the health of moustaches.”

What do you do for fun?

“I like getting together and hanging out with people. I like reading, which is good, because I'm an English graduate student. I love watching movies, and playing video games, too.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Oh, I already said this one, sorry. I'm an English graduate student, in Literary Studies. I'm focusing in Science Fiction and Fantasy.”

What's your dream job?

“Being independently wealthy, and being able to pursue my own career of both academic and fiction writing. Ideally, I want to do something that will get me invited to conventions as a guest.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Cool, nerdy people!”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Berserk, Rurouni Kenshin, Death Note (the first half of the manga), Trigun and probably a bunch of others.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Yes! And yes!”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“If it's nerdy, I'm probably into it. D&D, conventions, anime, books, movies, video games, whatever.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“I love games. However, my list of favorites is probably way too long. I'd probably say that rhythm games are my favorite genre, but I don't know that I could narrow it down between games like UmJammer Lammy and DDR.”

Jaeger Assignment

Dr. Moustache is currently piloting BELLOWING GOITER with Panzer Panda

BELLOWING GOITER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Nimble Wedgie
  • Penis-Mounted Hammer of Suffering

DOSSIER: Job is is to insult Kaiju and supply much-needed counseling services to other Jaeger pilots. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Derelict, a plan to use an experimental, new doomsday device to decisively end struggle against Kaiju. May be vulnerable to bad advice. Everybody agrees: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by some serious assholes in the dangerous slums of Pittsburgh. Existence was transformed permanently when goldfish were kidnapped by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 6 that he swore revenge. Decided to spend the next several years sleeping in a filthy robot repair shop. Each erotic lesson was a step toward the true mastery of self-control that his heart yearned for.

Found himself at the school of hard knocks where he studied forbidden knowledge, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane triumph despite killing a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite seriously fucking up a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Refusing to get a clue, he dedicated himself to essentially being a huge pussy and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

Critics have described his combat aptitude style as "amateur weaksauce", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "the kind of thing you jack off to" and "some of the coolest mayhem since Mike Tyson invaded my ass."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.

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