Shadwcat

Age: 40
Gender: M
Location: Winnetka, IL

Joined: 12 years ago on 09/29/08
Last Visit: 8 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Shadwcat is currently piloting AMBITION SLAYER with Monkey in Heaven

AMBITION SLAYER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Sexuality Kick
• Mustache-Mounted Boomerang

DOSSIER: Likes to help soldiers by fortifying their sensual power. Top-secret rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Asshole, a plan to use an unbelievable, ancient concentrated energy blast to decisively end struggle against Kaiju. Certainly that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Defiant Magical when the pilots sacrificed two or three orphans in order to save this one guy who turned out to not even really be that important. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may explode randomly, killing everybody inside, if either pilot is Mexican, which is really racist if you think about it. The only question facing these pilots, who have been friends since childhood, is this: can they crush the Kaiju without speed-humping each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a travelling Gypsy. Father was a brillian scientist. Life didn't really change much when nipples were eaten by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 5 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Spent the next several hours trying to get laid in a seriously shady temple. Each sexual yeast infection was a step toward being less of an asshole that his heart yearned for.

Mentored by the greatest Jaeger pilot of all time despite being completely blind because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent failure despite killing the old lady down the block. According to survivors, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was consumed by Biebermania.

Following the touching battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to General by God himself.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot better at saving the Earth if he started touching himself a little more. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Is gonna run this whole goddamn army someday.