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Panzer Panda

Buster Machine No. 18254
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About Panzer Panda

Age: 40
Gender: M
Location: Los Gatos, CA

Joined: 12 years ago on 10/01/08
Last Visit: 6 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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Did You Know?
  • You've viewed their Profile 3050 times
Would You Hit It? Would Panzer Panda?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I donít ever recall fighting Godzilla, but that is so what I would of done.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“I read a lot of history books, and watch plenty of movies. Love going to all kinds of sporting eventsÖ..except soccer, have to draw the line there.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“Amusement park game runner, campus service officer, pest control exterminator, screen doors salesman, to current hotel bellhop and shuttle driver.”

What's your dream job?

“Military history professor”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Anyone thatís just looking to have fun. Not here to play games, unless itís video or board games. ”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Tried it once and that will be enough.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Genshiken, Black Lagoon, Bleach, Desert Punk, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Gankutsuou. Eyeshield 21, Mahou Sensei Negima!, Death Note, Gantz, Hajime No Ippo. Plus many many more.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Everything except country.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Go to cons when ever they are nearby, and also have an anime club that I go to once a month. Spend more then I would like to admit on manga and videos. Also love cosplaying. Happy time I have a reason to throw on a costume that I have.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?


Into games? List your favorites!

“Right now I'm into Rock Band 2 with my friends. enables us to get together after work and have a good time. Play GTA 4 Soul Caliber 4, Burnout Paradise, Company of Heroes, Call of Duty, Battlefield 2”

XBox Live! Gamertag

“Panzer 1944”

Jaeger Assignment

Panzer Panda is currently piloting BELLOWING GOITER with Dr. Moustache

BELLOWING GOITER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Nimble Wedgie
  • Penis-Mounted Hammer of Suffering

DOSSIER: Job is is to insult Kaiju and supply much-needed counseling services to other Jaeger pilots. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Derelict, a plan to use an experimental, new doomsday device to decisively end struggle against Kaiju. May be vulnerable to bad advice. Everybody agrees: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of lima beans and tough love. Life threw a fucking curveball when imaginary friends were eaten by jealous bitches. It was at the age of 5 that he swore revenge. As time progressed, he totally failed to unlock the secrets of sexually transmitted diseases. Each withering lesson was a step away from the triumph that his heart yearned for.

Educated at the school of hard knocks where he studied Eastern religion, where it soon became apparent that he was probably destined to be homeless.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a completely insane crowd-pleaser despite impregnating his copilot. Classified intel indicates most of the city was destroyed and the rest was burned to the ground.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he dedicated himself to totally wussing out whenever possible and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot worse at shit in general if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.

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