Skits

Age: 34
Gender: M
Location: Rockville, MD

Joined: 16 years ago on 03/28/04
Last Visit: 5 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Skits is currently piloting SHOCKER SHOCKER with HeeroJF

SHOCKER SHOCKER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Destruction Stomp
• Dolphin's Scissor

DOSSIER: Job is is to upset Kaiju and supply courageous counseling services to other Jaeger pilots. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Secret Asshole, a plan to use an unbelievable, truly astonishing nuclear weapon to prolong inflation. Impervious to party drugs. During the Battle Of Antarctica, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to remain calm while simultaneously displaying outstanding ability to chug a six-pack. One thing is certain: these pilots are drunken and nobody questions their dedication to ability to chug a six-pack.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of unconditional love and acceptance... and and comic books. Life didn't really change much when friends were killed by ninjas. It was at the age of 19 that he reached puberty. Decided to spend the next several hours fighting for survival in a hidden comic book store. Each joyful moment was a step away from the kind of shit that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Unlocked his inner unicorn at Yale where he studied astrophysics, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of a bull with senseless levels of violence, termed "Invincible Monkey Style", he soon gained the admiration of hippies.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a rousing success despite impregnating basically everybody. Classified intel indicates most of the city was saved and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Following the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to Head Badass by his first grade teacher.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot better at something other than this if he hugged a puppy once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Could save us all someday.