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Buster Machine No. 19148
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About ninjapants

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Philadelphia, PA

Joined: 11 years ago on 01/04/09
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I pop up every once in a while and make a nuisance of myself. You know, like herpes. ”

What do you do for fun?

“I design sets and sometimes lights for the theatre”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I sell and install theatre equipment. It's kinda awesome for me. I'm also the Technical Director at Plays and Players in Center City Philadelphia”

What's your dream job?

“I'd like to teach and design at a university someday.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I'm a leapling. I was almost killed once by falling weights (at work) and another time cut myself bad enough for 12 stitches working on a Bat Mitzvah centerpiece.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“I'll meet anyone once.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“I did that once. For like 4 years. Through college. Can you imagine all the fucking I missed out on? ”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Ebichu, NGE, Jigoku Shoujo, Ergo Proxy”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Top 10 from the last 6 months: of Montreal, Spoon, Radiohead, !!!, The Flaming Lips, Andrew Bird, Arcade Fire, Portugal. The Man, Ratatat, LCD Soundsystem, Jamiroquai, Sleigh Bells, Dirty Projectors, Mogwai”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I used to watch the anime but not so much any more. I'm an occasional console gamer. ”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“Miss u so bad LDI... ”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Shooters. Also Minecraft. ”

XBox Live! Gamertag


Jaeger Assignment

ninjapants is currently piloting DRUNKEN QUAKER with FearlessOtaku

DRUNKEN QUAKER's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Penis-Mounted Machete
  • Unhealthy Dildo of Nothingness

DOSSIER: Role is to unleash lightning-like offense designed to confuse the Kaiju by fingerbanging their brains. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unstoppable Unicorn, a plan to use an unbelievable, new atomic missile to end erectile dysfunction. Sometimes, homeless men have heaped praise upon the pilots' masturbation habits. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are smoking hot and live to take a huge shit on some Kaiju children.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a migrant worker. Father was the kind of guy who didn't merely shit the bed - he rolled around in it as well.. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 5 that he had his entire body replaced by cyborg components. As time progressed, he learned the art of baking. Each surpising fuck-up was a step away from the triumph that his parents expected from him.

Educated at M.I.T. where he studied hand-to-hand combat, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up thing that legends are made of despite falling in love with a bunch of innocent bystanders. According to survivors, most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

In the aftermath of the touching clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Corporal by the President of what remained of the world.

So-called experts have described his combat aptitude style as "weak-ass dick-slapping", while mostly everybody else has described it as "completely dope" and "some of the toughest Jaeger piloting since Bruce Lee destroyed your mom."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.

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