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Buster Machine No. 19152
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About lykopis783

Age: 31
Gender: F
Location: Frederick, MD

Joined: 12 years ago on 01/05/09
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Jaeger Assignment

lykopis783 is currently piloting JUGGERNAUT BEEFCAKE with JackFox

JUGGERNAUT BEEFCAKE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Titanium Frying Pan Formation of Desperation
  • Breathtaking Staff

DOSSIER: Primary function is to unleash strategic offense designed to attack the Kaiju by pulverizing their brains. Everybody agrees: these pilots are erotic and live to eradicate some Kaiju friends.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a loving parent. Father was a drug lord. Somewhat affected by the murder of some shitty cat at one really bizarre county fair. At an early age, showed no promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with watercolor painting. It was at the age of 19 that she dedicated herself to vengeance. Reluctantly spent the next several hours sleeping in a filthy dojo. Each grueling yeast infection was a step toward the sensitive touching that that her sense of honor demanded.

Unlocked her inner unicorn at the school of hard knocks where she studied her own genitals for hours on end, where it soon became apparent that she was a true genius. With a fighting style that combined the aroma of a seasoned expert with never-before-seen brutality, termed "Ferocious Armadillo Style", she soon gained the admiration of hippies.

During one drunken night, she stole a Jaeger and her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked crowd-pleaser despite infuriating everybody in the Western Hemisphere. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was pretty happy about it.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, she re-dedicated herself to attempting to pilot her Jaeger sober and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"Son, you, you can study the training videos all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and you're completely drunk you better forget everything you think you know and react to the crazy situation at hand. If you don't, you might as well be playing for the Mets. Believe me, this is one soldier who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Does not meet expectations.

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