The Virgin Queen

Age: 31
Gender: F
Location: San Antonio, TX

Joined: 10 years ago on 01/17/09
Last Visit: 32 days ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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The Virgin Queen is currently piloting MEATBALL AMBITION with reagz

MEATBALL AMBITION's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Penis-Mounted Kick
• Untamed Foot Choke-Hold

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply much-needed blowjobs to friendly forces, even during the heartbreak of undercover skirmishes. Certainly historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Flagrant Asskicking, during which most of Baltimore was destroyed in an effort to figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will really bum you out if the pilots don't really have their shit together. Everybody agrees: these pilots are admirable and nobody questions their dedication to choice of personal grooming habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of organic vegetables and intellectual stimulation. Existence was transformed permanently when nipples were seduced by assassins. It was at the age of 19 that she discovered bathing. Each withering yeast infection was a step away from being less of an asshole that her heart yearned for.

Slept with a village of hobos despite a painful recurring prolapse because sometimes life is crazy like that.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked triumph despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of nerds. According to survivors, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was covered in sexual fluids.

Deciding to listen to everybody else for a change, she re-dedicated herself to square dancing and is basically doing alright.

So-called experts have described her sensual kissing style as "weak-ass weaksauce", while mostly everybody else has described it as "basically her new religion" and "some of the most heroic mayhem since gonhorrea invaded my ass."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs more nipple touching.