Lady Ava

Age: 33
Gender: F
Location: Randolph, NJ

Joined: 15 years ago on 04/20/04
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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Lady Ava is currently piloting LIBERTY ROBO with President Baltar

LIBERTY ROBO's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Laser Staff of Wrath
• Womb-Mounted Bomb

DOSSIER: Primary role is supporting civilians by improving their weapons power. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Unyielding Diddler, a plan to use a game-changing, ancient aggressive handjob technique to ensure this war for human survival. As we all know that one of its most famous moments of the war occured during Operation Highway Derelict when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of schoolchildren in order to save the oldest remaining public library in Topeka. In the past, the pilots' parents have envied the pilots' dedication to asskicking. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that under very rare circumstances it will cause incurable cancer unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they destroy the Kaiju without fingerbanging each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by wolves in the dangerous suburbs of Seattle. At an early age, showed much promise for playing the piano, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 5 that she discovered bathing. Each withering yeast infection was a step toward the sensitive touching that her parents expected from her.

Was accepted to Harvard despite excessive body odor because of her immense determination.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid crowd-pleaser despite killing a bunch of innocent bystanders. Classified intel indicates most of the town was destroyed and the rest was covered in blood.

Deciding to learn a lesson, she dedicated herself to attempting to pilot her Jaeger sober and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

"Buddy, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and you're completely drunk you better forget everything she taught you and react to the fucked-up situation at hand. If you don't, you're fucked. And trust me, this is one soldier who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.