tachikoma

Age: 28
Gender: F
Location: , Madrid

Joined: 9 years ago on 02/28/09
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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tachikoma is currently piloting RAGING THUNDER with Mazel Tov Cocktail

RAGING THUNDER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Panda's Broadsword Orgy
• Titanium Punch Orgy

DOSSIER: Job is to supply surgical offense intended to embarrass the Kaiju by murdering their emotions. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Heroic Hogwarts, a plan to use a game-changing, new boner pill to end psoraisis. Certainly historians will eventually salute the pilots for their role in Operation Secret Eruption, during which most of Yankee Stadium was destroyed in an effort to get laid. Often, other Jaeger pilots have expressed concern over the pilots' oral hygiene. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, if the pilots don't really have their shit together. The only question facing these pilots, who are bitter ex-lovers, is this: can they eradicate the Kaiju without murdering each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by monks in the idyllic swamps of Tanzania. Life was transformed permanently when imaginary friends were seduced by assassins. It was at the age of 6 that she stopped being a huge pussy. Reluctantly spent the next several years trying to get laid in a secret robot repair shop. Each erotic yeast infection was a step toward the bloody satisfaction that her parents expected from her.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite excessive body odor because of having nothing better to do.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her first fight against a kaiju was a completely insane thing that legends are made of despite impregnating nearly anybody that gave a shit. Thanks to her efforts, most of the city was destroyed and the rest was burned to the ground.

Deciding to learn a lesson, she re-dedicated herself to opening her hearts to change and as usual, is really shitting the bed.

"The thing is," says her best friend, "She'd be a lot better at piloting giant robots if she hugged a puppy once in a while. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.