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Bulletstorm

Buster Machine No. 20180
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About Bulletstorm

Age: 37
Gender: M
Location: Middletown, OH

Joined: 12 years ago on 04/12/09
Last Visit: 2 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

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  • You've viewed their Profile 1047 times
Would You Hit It? Would Bulletstorm?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

Bulletstorm is currently piloting MACHO ERECTION with MistressZelda

MACHO ERECTION's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Cosmic Shoulder Wedgie of Judgement
  • Dynamite Chainsaw of Confusion

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply courageous tax advice to friendly forces, even during the heartbreak of full-force combat. Classified whispers indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Diddler, a plan to use a game-changing, truly astonishing violent sexual onslaught to hopefully end the designated hitter rule. May be vulnerable to party drugs. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, if the pilots don't really have their shit together. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and nobody questions their dedication to choice of personal grooming habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by robots in the peaceful foothills of Tanzania. Not really affected by the murder of his hamster when all he wanted was some ice cream. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with not slaughtering literally every living being he encountered. It was at the age of 6 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Reluctantly spent the next several seconds battling for his life in a secret comic book store. Each sexual day was a step away from the triumph that his parents expected from him.

Was accepted to Harvard despite being addicted to blowjobs because of having nothing better to do. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of a bull with sensual brutality, termed "Invincible Falcon Style", he soon gained the praise of his master.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful thing that legends are made of despite impregnating basically everybody. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

In the aftermath of the heroic but sort of misguided Kaiju battle, pilot was angrily promoted to the general's dogwalker by his first grade teacher.

"Son, you, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there partying, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything you learned and react to the new situation right in front of you. If you don't, somebody's going to get pregnant. Trust me, this is one pilot who understands that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Can excel with a little love.

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