Kamen

Age: 38
Gender: M
Location: Falls Church, VA

Joined: 10 years ago on 04/21/09
Last Visit: 7 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 525 days from now

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Kamen is currently piloting ASTEROID METEOR with SteelViagra

ASTEROID METEOR's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Intoxicated Staff Storm
• Luck Haymaker

DOSSIER: Likes to help basically anybody who asks by fortifying their offensive capabilities. Impervious to expressing its feelings. The only question facing these pilots, who nobody has ever fucking heard of before, is this: can they aggressively fuck the Kaiju without pulverizing each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of grain alcohol and gin. Life didn't really change much when parents were fellated by assassins. It was at the age of 5 that he stopped being a huge pussy. Each joyful yeast infection was a step toward the triumph that his parents expected from him.

Schooled in a secret Buddhist temple where he studied the best ways to get laid, where it soon became apparent that he was the type of person that never gets invited to parties. With a fighting style that combined the sexual prowess of a tiger with sizzling power, termed "Elegant Bastard Style", he soon gained the praise of pretentious assholes everywhere.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent failure despite falling in love with a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to becoming a sassy black woman and has no fucking idea what he's doing.

"You, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there fighting an unknown giant monster from another fucking dimension, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything he taught you and adapt to the crazy situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, the Earth is fucked. Believe me, this is one pilot who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: A rare blend of sensuality and passion.