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Buster Machine No. 20383
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About jizzmatic2000

Age: 40
Gender: M
Location: Mobile, AL

Joined: 10 years ago on 04/30/09
Last Visit: 8 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 409 days from now

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Hi! I'm a fat half filipino who constantly gets mistaken for a Mexican, even by other Mexicans! I'm pretty funny, mostly quiet, and a good listener.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an open relationship.”

What do you do for fun?

“Watch terrible movies, laugh at them. Watch good movies, appreciate them. Tinker with electronic instruments.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I sell home theater equipment for a big box store. That makes me a whore. I'm somewhat in school for math and graphics design.”

What's your dream job?

“Anything creative. Visual or aural art for publishing, games, movies, etc. Eco-anything.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I just purchased a butt plug and Professor Layton off Amazon for a friend. I left 7 lbs of pudding on an elderly couple's front porch. The funniest things I own are Saw II and IV. I own them because my friends are assholes.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Laid back, patient, witty and funny.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“Most long-distance relationships are bullshit. Depends on whether both parties are willing to carry a torch for each other, and are willing to sacrfice a little to sate primal urges.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Don't read manga, hate most anime. Why am I here? I enjoy the people the culture attracts. Exceptions to the rule: FLCL, Vampire Hunter D, Ninja Scroll, old school Robotech. I'm sure I'm missing some.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Mike Patton-anything. Classical, silly-but-intelligent hip-hop, hilarious metal -- grindcore, hair, death, whatever. Despite everybody in the known universe, I'm even down for some old country western and bluegrass.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“I have to constantly fight my desire to acquire toys and useless things. I have a gadget lust, which leads to me having a ton of blinking lights all over the place.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“I'm 30, so I don't really go anymore. I'd love to attend PAX or the local Coast Con again.”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Mario Kart, Smash Bros, Mega Man 2/9, Metroid, Anything Blizzard, Zelda, Castlevania, Fatal Frame, Eternal Darkness, most things Mario, quirky Squeenix titles, Aliens vs. Predator”

Other Online Gaming Info

“Starcraft, World of Warcraft (I'm sober now), AvP, Doom, Mario Kart”

Jaeger Assignment

jizzmatic2000 is currently piloting MARMOSET MAYHEM with Terry Schiavo

MARMOSET MAYHEM's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Damnation Stomp
  • Cobra's Gauntlet

DOSSIER: Job is is to supply ferocious blowjobs to basically anybody who asks, even during the frenzy of covert battles. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Stalwart Panty Raid, a plan to use a game-changing, new concentrated energy blast to hopefully end inflation. Cannot be damaged by fire-based Kaiju. Certainly that one of its most infamous moments of the war occured during Operation Heroic Hogwarts when the pilots sacrificed a whole bunch of orphans in order to save some dude's record collection. In the past, the pilots' parents have expressed concern over the pilots' dedication to asskicking. Everybody agrees: these pilots are fun-loving and nobody questions their dedication to masturbation habits.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of encouragement and church-going. Existence was transformed permanently when goldfish were kidnapped by creepy street artists. It was at the age of 6 that he reached puberty. Each sexual fuck-up was a step toward the triumph that his heart yearned for.

Truly blossomed at Oxford where he studied astrophysics, where it soon became apparent that he was the type of person that never gets invited to parties.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a disturbingly violent affair despite killing basically everybody. Due to his actions, most of the town was saved and the rest was pretty happy about it.

Following the grueling clusterfuck, pilot was immediately promoted to potato peeler, first class by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.

"Listen up, rookie, you can study the training videos all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there partying, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you think you know and react to the life or death situation even if you're pretty sure you're hallucinating. If you don't, basically everybody is going to die. And trust me, this is one pilot who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is gonna run this whole goddamn army someday.

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