nineballninja

Age: 39
Gender: M
Location: San Diego, CA

Joined: 14 years ago on 05/07/04
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Status: Cube Gleamer
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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nineballninja is currently piloting SLEDGEHAMMER HOTDOG with Boudicca

SLEDGEHAMMER HOTDOG's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Fearless Bash
• Nimble Taint Strike Technique

DOSSIER: Primary function is to supply intense offense designed to insult the Kaiju by fucking up their reproductive organs. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Flagrant Rumble, a plan to use an unbelievable, secret nuclear weapon to hopefully end erectile dysfunction. One thing is certain: these pilots are drunken and have one purpose, which is to piss all over some Kaiju genitals.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a loving parent. Father was a drug lord. Not really affected by the conversion to Islam of his favorite hobo lover when all he wanted was some ice cream. At an early age, showed much promise for being a pickpocket, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole. It was at the age of 23 that he discovered bathing. Each withering lesson was a step toward the ultimate revenge that his heart yearned for.

Became high school valedictorian despite being addicted to blowjobs because of having nothing better to do. With a fighting style that combined the spirit of the toughest son-of-a-bitch you ever met with sizzling passion, termed "Invincible Monkey Style", he soon gained the praise of perverts all over the world.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a delightful success despite falling in love with nearly anybody that gave a shit. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that had absolutely zero friends.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to curing AIDS and has been making some pretty good progress.

"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot worse at everything if he stopped being an asshole. Ah, what are you going to do? Life is crazy like that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.