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Buster Machine No. 2067
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About Zordon

Age: 39
Gender: M
Location: Union, NJ

Joined: 16 years ago on 05/08/04
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Status: Airlocked
Type: Founding Member (Lifetime)
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

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What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Jaeger Assignment

Zordon is currently piloting INAPPROPRIATE SUNSHINE with NekoStar

INAPPROPRIATE SUNSHINE's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Overwhelming Arm Dropkick
  • Inappropriate Arm Wedgie

DOSSIER: Avoids direct combat and prefers to support other Jaegers by improving their offensive power. During the Battle Of Brazil, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to look really cool while simultaneously displaying outstanding dedication to partying. At times, other Jaeger pilots have wished that the pilots would improve their general cleanliness. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may cause incurable cancer every so often. One thing is certain: these pilots are fun-loving and have one purpose, which is to piss all over some Kaiju genitals.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Robot family provided a strict diet of cocaine and church-going. Existence was transformed permanently when imaginary friends were kidnapped by assassins. It was at the age of 19 that he discovered bathing. Spent the next several seconds fighting for survival in a secret abandoned rest stop. Each suprisingly filthy moment was a step away from the kind of shit that that his sense of honor demanded.

Found himself at the school of hard knocks where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that he was a once-in-a-lifetime talent.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up crowd-pleaser despite falling in love with a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that had pretty much no fucking clue at all.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he dedicated himself to shaving his pubes and has been making some pretty good progress.

Jealous people have described his robot piloting style as "amateur ass-grabbing", while people who actually know what he's talking about have described it as "instant boner material" and "some of the toughest mayhem since my dad invaded my face."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.

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