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Buster Machine No. 2080
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About Viewtiful_John

Age: 38
Gender: M
Location: Hoboken, NJ

Joined: 15 years ago on 05/10/04
Last Visit: 7 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

Public Photos

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  • You've viewed their Profile 4432 times
Would You Hit It? Would Viewtiful_John?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Are you fuckin kiddin me with these questions?”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm in an exclusive relationship.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I work in advertising.”

What's your dream job?

“Slangin' and Servin'”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I own a rare dog”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Here to make friends only”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Buddies and Weirdo's”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“The Classics”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Clicks and Whistles”

XBox Live! Gamertag


Jaeger Assignment

Viewtiful_John is currently piloting FREEDOM GORILLA with Dia

FREEDOM GORILLA's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Broken Headbutt of Despair
  • Vengeance Uppercut

DOSSIER: Job is to supply strategic offense intended to insult the Kaiju by speed-humping their feelings. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they kick the Kaiju without fucking up each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a drunken brawler. Father was one hell of a guy -- had the kind of pecs you'd kill for. At an early age, showed much promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with bubble farts. It was at the age of 23 that he reached puberty. Each erotic lesson was a step toward the triumph that that his sense of honor demanded.

Became high school valedictorian despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because his mother forced him to. With a fighting style that combined the speed of a bull with sensual sensuality, termed "Ferocious Bastard Style", he soon gained the sensitive touchings of some homeless guy.

After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid thing that legends are made of despite falling in love with his copilot. Classified intel indicates most of the city was destroyed and the rest was pretty happy about it.

When the dust settled after the touching Kaiju battle, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Head Badass by a guy that wandered in off of the street and was pretty much just into promoting people.

"The thing is," says his best friend, "He'd be a lot worse at shit in general if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"

Psyche eval recommendation: Just needs cuddling.

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