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Captain Commando

Buster Machine No. 2117
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About Captain Commando

Age: 31
Gender: F
Location: San Francisco, CA

Joined: 10 years ago on 05/17/04
Last Visit: 5 days ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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Would You Hit It? Would Captain Commando?

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“Hello, I am a gay.”

What do you do for fun?

“I drive very, very fast, usually next to cars that are also very, very fast. And boy do I love sleep.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I do a lot of shit related to making video games, but my actual title is Senior Producer. Former martial arts instructor, writer, booth bitch, and con staff.”

What's your dream job?

“Host on Top Gear, or researching and writing about sex. And being paid an obscenely large salary.”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“I have the Halo of the Sun sigil from Silent Hill tattooed on my lower back. Don't worry, I know the social implications. It's even got circles on it, kinda like skee ball - gives you something to aim for.”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?

“Girls!”

What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Fun people that aren't going to stalk me. If we're talking naked, I'm only looking for girls. Sorry, doods.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“No thanks. It can work for awhile, but if you're thinking long term - if you're more than an hour's drive away, someone's gonna have to move eventually.”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Manga: Anything by Shirow, DOGS. Anime: Evangelion, Samurai Champloo, Stand Alone Complex”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“I don't believe in limiting myself as far as media, so I'll listen to everything from heavy industrial to country music and sugar pop.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Mostly just gaming and design/illustration, though I do still watch anime now and then.”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“I just kind of randomly show up on a whim. AX, Fanime, ComicCon, BootyCon. ”

Into games? List your favorites!

“Counter-Strike (Source and GO), UT3, NS, L4D2, Third Strike, Castlevania, Metroid, Forza”

Steam Nickname

“torque”

Other Online Gaming Info

“stuff on Steam”

Jaeger Assignment

Captain Commando is currently piloting SPECTACULAR MERMAID with Cognac Jack

SPECTACULAR MERMAID's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Butt-Mounted Boomerang
  • Womb-Mounted Broadsword Assault

DOSSIER: Job is to supply sporadic offense intended to destroy the Kaiju by slaughtering their heads. Classified rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Frisky Hercules, a plan to use an experimental, truly astonishing fried chicken recipe to prolong struggle against Kaiju. Impervious to bad advice. During the Battle Of Yankee Stadium, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to look really cool while simultaneously displaying outstanding dedication to asskicking. The only question facing these pilots, who everybody is pretty sure are direct blood relatives, is this: can they kick the Kaiju without speed-humping each other first?

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by loving parents in the idyllic foothills of Transylvania. At an early age, showed great aptitude for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with drinking more than two or three beers without acting like an asshole.. It was at the age of 6 that she had her entire body replaced by cyborg components. Each erotic beat-down was a step toward the triumph that most people would stay the fuck away from.

Slept with a village of hobos despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because sometimes life is crazy like that.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up thing that legends are made of despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju with extremely low self-esteem.

Refusing to listen to everybody else for a change, she dedicated herself to experimenting with foreplay instead of jumping right into "the good stuff" and are kicking ass at that, as we all expected.

"Son, you, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one flight instructor. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and somebody offers you a beer you better forget everything you learned and adapt to the life or death situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, the Earth is fucked. Trust me, this is one crazy asshole who has mastered that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Is probably a fucking maniac.

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