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The happy sausage artist

Buster Machine No. 21509
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About The happy sausage artist

Age: 39
Gender: M
Location: Elkridge, MD

Joined: 11 years ago on 09/08/09
Last Visit: 14 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: None

Public Photos

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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I am me. Like some nerdy things, like to make people smile, am clueless when it comes too girls. Yeah that is about it.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“tourist stuff in europe, being a fatty, being social”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“army medic, personal comedian, and all around clutz”

What's your dream job?

“Nurse or something in nursing”

Tell a funny story about yourself, or about something funny you own!

“Put my dick on a cold window next to tranoid no ki”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“I'm here to stalk John Booty”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Someone sane and insane at the same time”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?


Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“bleach, kenshinn, shaman king, DB, DBZ, DBGT, naruto, ect.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Depends on my mood, but pretty much can be around anything.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“watching anime, reading some Bleach manga, playing WOW when the mood hits, SWTOR, CODMW2, and other consol games”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?

“I don't know when I well get time off do who knows?”

Into games? List your favorites!

“modern warfare 2, dantes inferno, ME3, SWTOR, WOW, ect.”

XBox Live! Gamertag

“ usarmydoc2000”

Jaeger Assignment

The happy sausage artist is currently piloting SCORPION PLATYPUS with trampersand

SCORPION PLATYPUS's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Steamy Choke-Hold
  • Finishing Flamethrower

DOSSIER: Role is is to annihilate Kaiju and supply perilous repair services to soldiers. Impervious to party drugs. As we all know that one of its most celebrated moments of the war occured during Operation Erotic Freedom when the pilots sacrificed several hundred condemned criminals in order to save a single flower. Sometimes, media pundits have been awestruck by the pilots' intensity. One known drawback of this Jaeger type is that it may explode randomly, killing everybody inside, if the pilots don't really have their shit together. Everybody agrees: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to alcohol tolerance.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Loving family provided a strict diet of daily swordfighting lessons and religion. Life was transformed permanently when parents were kidnapped by assassins. It was at the age of 6 that he discovered bathing. As time progressed, he mastered the secrets of oral hygeine. Each grueling day was a step closer to the bloody satisfaction that his heart yearned for.

Was accepted to Harvard despite a painful recurring prolapse because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his debut fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up crowd-pleaser despite impregnating a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that had killed some pretty tough bastards in the past.

Deciding to learn a lesson, he re-dedicated himself to becoming a sassy black woman and is basically doing alright.

"Listen up, rookie, you can beat your dick to YouTube videos all day long," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there fighting, and you're completely drunk you better forget everything you think you know and adapt to the fucked-up situation no matter how high you are. If you don't, everybody's going to think you're a pussy. Believe me, this is one crazy asshole who totally gets that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Just wants to be loved.

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