uzneko

Age: 33
Gender: F
Location: Richmond, VA

Joined: 15 years ago on 05/27/04
Last Visit: 5 years ago
Type: Lifetime Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: Never!

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uzneko is currently piloting RAINBOW FREEDOM with Rexall

RAINBOW FREEDOM's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Robust Arrow
• Labia-Mounted Hockey Stick Raid

DOSSIER: Job is to support other Jaeger pilots by fortifying their sexual capabilities. Classified scuttlebutt indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Defiant Cumberbatch, a plan to use a game-changing, new doomsday device to prolong erectile dysfunction. Impervious to emotions. During the Battle Of Mexico, pilots displayed an unprecedented ability to show no signs of last night's anal pounding while simultaneously displaying outstanding intensity. At times, media pundits have been awestruck by the pilots' dedication to asskicking. One rumored drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to really bum you out if the pilots don't really have their shit together. One thing is certain: these pilots are erotic and have an unequaled ability to smash some Kaiju friends.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Adopted by wolves in the tranquil foothills of Seattle. At an early age, showed much promise for not being a total fuck-up, but struggled with with boner control. It was at the age of 23 that she reached puberty. Decided to spend the next several years fighting for survival in a filthy basement. Each withering fuck-up was a step away from the sensitive touching that her parents expected from her.

Befriended a troupe of playful cats despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because of having nothing better to do.

She soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking her way into a Jaeger, her debut fight against a kaiju was a splendid triumph despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of innocent bystanders. This was achieved despite running away from a Kaiju that would have made the toughest hombre you ever met shit his pants in three seconds flat.

In the aftermath of the touching clusterfuck, pilot was reluctantly promoted to Head Badass by a particularly gentlemanly hobo who wondered that all the ruckus was about.

"You, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one homeless guy on a park bench. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything Mommy said and react to the life or death situation right in front of you. If you don't, basically everybody is going to die. Trust me, this is one soldier who totally gets that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Will perform if given enough gummi bears.