AnonymousGirl

Age: 26
Gender: F
Location: Nowhere, AK

Joined: 9 years ago on 10/19/09
Last Visit: 3 months ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 589 days from now

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AnonymousGirl is currently piloting BEEFCAKE PIONEER with Danny Tanner

BEEFCAKE PIONEER's special combat abilities are known to include:

• Smothering Groin Headbutt
• Spicy Caress of Destruction

DOSSIER: Job is is to upset Kaiju and supply suicidally-insane blowjobs to civilians. Top-secret rumors indicates this Jaeger is part of Operation Resilient Hogwarts, a plan to use a game-changing, secret atomic missile to decisively end this war for human survival. May be vulnerable to emotions. Everybody agrees: these pilots are smoking hot and nobody questions their dedication to dedication to asskicking.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Raised by robots in the peaceful slums of New York. At an early age, showed great aptitude for playing the piano, but struggled with with chapped nipple. It was at the age of 6 that he dedicated himself to vengeance. Each surpising day was a step closer to the sensitive touching that his heart yearned for.

Found himself by the school of life where he studied pretty much anything his voracious mind could consume, where it soon became apparent that he was a true genius.

He soon joined the Robot Army and, after sucking and fucking his way into a Jaeger, his first fight against a kaiju was a limp-dicked failure despite annoying the shit out of a bunch of nerds. This was achieved despite fighting a Kaiju that seemed to be addicted to heroin or something.

In the aftermath of the grueling Kaiju battle, pilot was immediately promoted to Corporal by his commanding officer.

"Listen up, rookie, you can read the textbooks all you want," says one commanding officer. "But when you're actually out there with the fate of the world in your hands, and half of your robot is on fire and the other half is severely damaged you better forget everything you learned and adapt to the life or death situation at hand. If you don't, somebody's going to get pregnant. And trust me, this is one crazy asshole who will never have any clue about that."

Psyche eval recommendation: Promote immediately.