Arden FIERCE is currently piloting THUNDERING MEATBALL with aevangelica
THUNDERING MEATBALL's special combat abilities are known to include:
Mustache-Mounted Black Hole Generator
Sloppy Cricket Bat Volley of Vengeance
DOSSIER: Job is is to supply perilous blowjobs to civilians, even during the confusion of sexual lovemaking. We can safely say historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Resilient Asshole, during which most of Chicago was destroyed in an effort to capture a living Kaiju. One thing is certain: these pilots are seriously bad-ass and have an unequaled ability to fingerbang some Kaiju heads.
MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Mother was a secretary. Father was a homeless man. Not all that affected by the cyborg conversion of grandmother at the age of three. At an early age, showed great aptitude for being able to walk in a straight line, but struggled with with discipline. It was at the age of 6 that he discovered bathing. Eventually, he learned the techniques of sexual touching. Each surpising fuck-up was a step toward the ultimate revenge that most people would stay the fuck away from.
Slept with a village of hobos despite a painful recurring prolapse because people figured the world was ending anyway, so who cares?.
After becoming a Jaeger Pilot, his debut fight against a kaiju was a delightful thing that legends are made of despite "accidentally" killing Whoopi Goldberg. Due to his actions, most of the town was saved and the rest was pretty happy about it.
Deciding to get a clue, he re-dedicated himself to drinking a lot and as usual, is really shitting the bed.
"The thing is," says a classmate, "He'd be a lot worse at embracing my love if he hugged a puppy once in a while. But ya gotta love that. This is the pilot I want on our side next time the Kaiju attack!"
Psyche eval recommendation: May be unfit for duty.
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