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Buster Machine No. 22294
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About chaosmonkey

Age: 35
Gender: M
Location: Mundelein, IL

Joined: 10 years ago on 01/09/10
Last Visit: 4 years ago
Type: Gold Member
Paid Member Privileges: Yes
Privileges Expire: 235 days from now

Public Photos

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  • You've viewed their Profile 3037 times
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Tell Us About Yourself...

Say hello, and tell us a bit about yourself!

“I am an unreprenant nerd. A few friends pulled me here and people fascinate me, so resisting just seemed silly, as well as futile.”

Current Relationship Status

“I'm single.”

What do you do for fun?

“I play games of all sorts. I read lots of sci-fi and fantasy novels, I watch tv or movies, I revel amongst all sorts of nerdity, and I endulge in a healthy love of pop culture and people studies.”

What do you do? You know- job, school, freelance sorcery, etc.

“I work (Starbucks) and go to school (working on associates currently). Beyond that, I'm usually found doing some sort of gaming or reading.”

What's your dream job?

“Getting paid a lot for doing very little or getting paid to game, that would be cool too...”

Who Are You Looking For?

Which gender are you interested in?


What kind of relationship are you looking for?

“Friends, love, whatever. I'm open.”

Describe the sort of person you're looking for!

“Any kind really. People in general facinate me, as such I'm studying sociology.”

Do you think long distance relationships can work?

“They can work I suppose...”

Anime, Manga and Other Nerdy Stuff

Name some of your favorite anime and manga...

“Cowboy Bebop, Hellsing...Though they're not anime or manga I have a fondness for DC and Marvel superheroes specifically Green Arrow, Superman, Batman and Neil Gaiman's Sandman series.”

What's some of your favorite music? What have you been listening to lately?

“Primarily older punk and ska, but a little of everything if/when the mood strikes.”

What are some anime/manga/gaming-related interests you have? Watching anime, cons, collecting cels, etc...

“Dungeons & Dragons, Star Trek/Wars, RPGs, Comics, Dr. Who, Sociology, etc...”

If you go to conventions, what upcoming cons are you attending?


Into games? List your favorites!

“Virtually any RPG, Zelda, any Star Wars, Assasin's Creed, Borderlands and this list could go on and on.”

Steam Nickname


XBox Live! Gamertag

“Chaos Monkey 13”

Jaeger Assignment

chaosmonkey is currently piloting STEAMY STALLION with jadium

STEAMY STALLION's special combat abilities are known to include:

  • Groin-Mounted Machine Gun
  • Lusty Jump-Kick

DOSSIER: Primary function is is to supply ferocious massages to other Jaegers, even during the heartbreak of covert skirmishes. Cannot be damaged by sensitive enemies. We can safely say historians will eventually forgive the pilots for their role in Operation Stalwart Ragnarok, during which most of Mexico was destroyed in an effort to figure out what all of the buttons on the Jaeger's control panel actually did. One inconvenient drawback of this Jaeger type is that it tends to blind everybody in a one-mile radius, pretty much ruining their lives, unless both pilots have been circumcised by the same doctors. Make no doubt about it: these pilots are terrifying and nobody questions their dedication to general cleanliness.

MOST RECENT PSYCHE EVALUATION: Homeless family provided a strict diet of love and gin. At an early age, showed no promise for being good at doing giant robot stuff, but struggled with with potty training. It was at the age of 6 that he had a sex change. Soon, he totally failed to unlock the secrets of sexually transmitted diseases. Each joyful lesson was a step away from the kind of shit that that his sense of honor demanded.

Played first base for the Mets despite refusing to talk about anything besides collecting Pokemon because of his immense determination.

During one drunken night, he stole a Jaeger and his first fight against a kaiju was a fucked-up affair despite infuriating his best friend. According to survivors, most of the town was saved and the rest was a goddamn mess.

Refusing to finally show a regard for common sense or even reality itself, he re-dedicated himself to partying like a true hero and and is, frankly, not having a lot of success.

"The thing is," says his commander, "He'd be a lot better at saving the Earth if he took my dick out of his mouth once in a while. But that's what makes a good soldier, right?"

Psyche eval recommendation: Needs copious amounts of coddling.

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